Times Square tour-bus guide: "Hello, my name is Monica, and I'll be your guide as we travel through the former greatest city on Earth.Anyone that craps on ESPN, theme restaurants and Seinfeld is all right by me.
"Once a wonderland of nonstop excitement and infinite possibility, this ex-metropolis is now the dumping ground for such societal triumphs as the ESPN Zone family restaurant ... "
Tourist: "We see Soup Nazi, yes?"
Tourist's smiling wife: "We come all way from Lisbon to taste him."
Guide: "Hey, delightful. What's Portuguese for `I quit'?"
© Peter Rozovsky 2010